Rev. Kyle Applegate —Sacred Refractions #6
Each month, Rev. Ava Schlesinger poses four questions and invites a community blessing as she turns the lens of curiosity toward One Spirit’s kaleidoscope of alumni. This evolving series celebrates the prism of lived experience and reflects the radiant, raw, and beautifully human expressions of sacred action and service.
Four questions. One blessing. A moment of sacred refraction.
This month’s Sacred Refractions spotlight centers on Rev. Kyle Applegate, a 2012 One Spirit graduate.
Kyle is an interfaith minister, spiritual counselor, educator, and longtime community presence in New York City. His work spans LGBTQ+ advocacy, ritual, pastoral care, and what he describes as a kind of “wandering ministry” that meets people exactly where they are.
To learn more, visit Kyle’s Instagram: #sacredjourneyministry.
Photo Credit: Bob Krasner
(The following is paraphrased from Ava and Kyle’s conversation.)
What first called you to One Spirit… and what was unfolding in your life at that time?
Before One Spirit, I had already been doing ministry in my own way for many years. I was leading meetings in the polyamorous community, and supporting couples through different relationship styles. I then trained as a tantric healer, which focused a lot on communication, intimacy, and connection. But I had never gone to college. And I reached a point where I wanted to step into ministry in a more professional way. I wanted the depth behind it. I didn’t want to just be someone who could marry people with a quick online certification. I felt that this work mattered too much for that.
So I applied to One Spirit, not entirely sure I would be accepted. I was entering a room where many people had advanced degrees. But what I had was life experience.
And once I got there, I realized I belonged in those conversations. That experience gave me a tremendous amount of confidence. It changed how I saw myself.
Years later, at 53, I went back and got my GED. I always say I did college first and high school second.
At the same time, I was on a deep personal healing path. I was working through past trauma, including domestic violence and assault, and exploring the connection between spirituality and sexuality. Tantra, for me, was about reclaiming power and understanding the body as sacred.
One Spirit met me right there. It gave me a place where all of that could belong.
Where does your ministry live now, and who are you most called to serve?
My ministry has always been about speaking up for people who don’t have a voice. And the truth is, my ministry doesn’t live in one place. I don’t have a single house of worship. I think of myself as a kind of street minister.
It happens everywhere, and you never know when you’re going to be called to service.
It happens when I’m sitting with couples, helping them shape their wedding ceremony or navigate their relationship. That’s where I feel most at home. I’m not a preacher. I’m a listener. I’m someone who walks alongside people.
It also happens in unexpected places. For years, I worked as a bootblack in a bar, shining shoes. People would sit in my chair for ten minutes and tell me their life stories. There’s something about being present, grounded, and open that invites people to share.
I’ve come to understand that ministry is always available. You never know when you’ll be called to serve. You could be on a train, talking to strangers, and suddenly someone asks you to pray.
So I try to stay aware. To stay open. To say yes when those moments arise.
Your life and work hold a deep connection between body, identity, and spirit. How do you understand that relationship?
As someone of trans experience, I’ve always been very aware of my body. How I move through the world, how I’m seen, how I relate to others.
For me, the body is sacred. It’s not separate from spirituality. It’s part of it.
One of the blessings of being trans is that I carry perspective from both male and female lived realities. That has made me a stronger spiritual counselor. I can sit with people in a way that holds multiple truths at once.
At One Spirit, I eventually came out to the larger community. There was naturally some degree of fear in that moment, even though I was and am comfortable with myself. But I was met with such warmth and acceptance. I felt truly seen.
That experience stayed with me.
Spiritually, I identify as Pagan, in the sense of being rooted in an earth-based understanding of life. I feel connected to the cycles of nature, the moon, the seasons. I don’t claim to know what happens after we die, but I trust that we return, in some form, to the earth that holds us.
There’s a balance I’m always seeking. Between form and freedom. Between identity and something beyond identity.
And at the end of the day, I think we forget that we are all living on the same planet, under the same sun and moon. That, to me, is sacred.
What have you learned about creating spaces where people feel seen, respected, and safe to be who they are?
It starts with being open yourself.
When you’re willing to be present, grounded, and nonjudgmental, people feel that. They respond to it. They open up.
Deep listening is one of the most important things I learned at One Spirit. Not rushing to fix. Not needing to have the answer. Just being there with someone.
I’ve also found that joy is a powerful part of this work.
Five years ago, I took another set of vows with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, a worldwide order of queer nuns. My sister name is Sister Rose from the Ashes. (see Kyle dressed in his sister habit above), Through the Sisters, I’ve stepped more into street ministry and community service that is about presence, visibility, and joy. We show up in public spaces, in full nun drag, and engage people in ways that are playful, unexpected, and deeply human.
There’s something about stepping outside of ego, even temporarily, that creates space for connection. When people feel safe, when they feel a sense of lightness or acceptance, something opens.
And that opening matters.
If you could offer a blessing to those navigating identity, belonging, or spiritual home, what would it be?
Mother, Father, God.
Great Spirit of all that is unknowable,
Please give us strength today.
Let us be reassured that we are enough,
that we have everything that we need within us.
Let us carry that throughout this day and this week,
so that we can be a beacon to others.
A-men, A-women, A-everybody else.
_______________________________
A note from Rev. Ava
The beauty of our One Spirit community is that the light and love keep moving, bending, shimmering, and finding new forms through each of us.
If you are a graduate or student of One Spirit Seminary or ISCC whose work in the world reflects this light and you would like to share your story, I would love to hear from you. Please contact me at beautyandgraceink@gmail.com so we can discuss featuring you in a future Sacred Refractions.
Sacred Refractions is meant to be a living conversation. A collection of stories that show how ministry continues to take shape in every imaginable place and form.
